TB Times 2nd place story

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nferro9925
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TB Times 2nd place story

Postby nferro9925 » Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:25 am

Has anyone read the Thoroughbred Times 2nd place story?

I cried and sniffled at the end and thought it was way better than the first place story.

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Patuxet
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Postby Patuxet » Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:45 am

Anthropomorphism is too sentimental for my taste now -- but as a kid I loved it. Never could eat venison -- thanks to "Bambi"

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Postby soundfast » Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:00 am

I am looking forward to reading it. I live in VA which borders KY but you would never know it. My March 22nd issue arrived on March 31st. I am still waiting for the March 29th issue. I also was not thrilled with the 1st place story. I happen to believe that the souls in the bodies of other animals are just as good as and sometimes better than the souls in human bodies and that souls can be reincarnated from human to other animal bodies and vice versa. The human animal and other animals are more similar than some want others to believe they are.They want to torture,maim, and kill without suffering the consequences they deserve.

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Postby LB » Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:08 pm

I thought it was excellent. And I, too, liked it better than the first place story.

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Heidilady
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Postby Heidilady » Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:06 pm

Can anyone give me a recap of those two stories? Or just a general idea of the subject and tone?
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nferro9925
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Postby nferro9925 » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:00 pm

The 2nd story is about (horses talk in it) an old horse who comes to the rescue of a mare that he is in love with and saves her from the kill truck and gives her back some confidence with the help of other mares in a race. They are at a track that holds no hope.
They kind of fix the race. She gets claimed by a good owner and he is happy for her though it means she is in another barn.

Unfortunately then the kill truck comes and he is the one to go "north" as the horses call it.

The 1st one is about Barbaro's death and a songwriter. And how the song evolves - I kind of stopped reading halfway through because I was bored with it, and just skimmed the rest of it.

Both are available on line at thoroughbredtimes.com .

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Postby pembroke » Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:19 pm

nferro9925....you did better then me...I think I got thru 3 paragraphs!

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geowarrior
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Postby geowarrior » Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:02 am

I thought the winning story was an appalling choice given that the team of judges supposedly included professional writers. The piece was a blatant attempt at heart string pulling written in a stilted and uninteresting fashion, with a great deal of irrelevant fluff which was, I suppose, meant to illustrate lives that lack focus but which were brought briefly into a sharper relief by the death of Barbaro. Basically it was a boring, badly written story about a yawner of a guy who wrote and recorded a song about Barbaro's death and a bunch of his useless friends liked it. So it gave him a form of closure so cliched that I wished I'd reached closure myself on the story before the end of the first paragraph. Unfortunately I have no sense so I read the whole thing.

Although I did prefer the second piece, I was also concerned about the anthropomorphism, and although I found it moving I think that was because there was no dancing around the reality of the sad, gritty, and realistic subject matter (i.e. the downward movement of claiming horses to end of the line tracks and their eventual demise through the agencies of the meat man), but the writing and dialog as well as the devices of the 'soft shoe' and the flirting between the old gelding and the mare were juvenile and downright silly in places. I mean listen to Smokey's farewell to Socrates as Socrates proudly marches down the shedrow to the meat truck - 'You da man.' Ugh.

I suppose it's easy and cheap to criticize when I've never submitted anything myself (or at least not since I was a child), and I'd be upset if I read a critique like the one I just wrote if it was about some story of mine. Nevertheless these works were submitted for judgement. My question is, are these truly the best of the body of work that was submitted or is the judging panel a group of sentimental equine lovers who are starry eyed over sad cliches and cheap literary tricks? That's a question that could keep me awake tonight for at least five minutes.

Personally I find some of the most interesting parts of the Thoroughbred Times are the small segments from historical articles, and I wouldn't mind seeing the outcomes of some of those stories expounded in much longer articles. For example a recent article quoted the obituary of Carry Back. Now there's an interesting story that could have been expounded upon at some length and would have been more interesting than either of the fictional pieces. If this is all that can be found in fiction, then horse racing has far more interesting stories in reality, so, Thoroughbred Times, get a decent writer to tell us those ones.

P.S. - Patuxet, I know you are a writer, and you've nabbed me on my grammar before. So my apologies in advance if I've mixed in some Scottish, Canadian or American item that isn't dialect or acceptable slang but is simply bad grammar. I know I do that a lot without realizing what I'm doing. Also I do know that the e in cliche is supposed to have an accent but in this particular format I don't know how to set the special character.

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Postby CurrentlyRed » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:20 am

I can understand why the judges liked the message of the first story, even though I didn't actually enjoy it because I didn't identify with any character. It's difficult to develop a character personality in that short of a story & to develop personalities for a bunch of ordinary people who don't care one way or the other about horses in a TB story is more difficult still. Most people like stories where they can identify on some level with the main character. I think the writer actually did a good job, but so few people who will read that story in the TB Times will identify that it won't be a popular winner.

It's strength is exploring a phenomenon [without actually explaining it] about how so many people who couldn't name any jockey, trainer, or famous racehorse past Man O War could get so caught up in the daily struggle of one ill-fated horse they hadn't even heard of the day before. Racing industry execs would love to harness that energy & channel it into attendance, handle & more TV exposure.

But they are so focused on their business models they don't see that what will bring in folks who aren't already enchanted with racing is their love of the horse - and rooting for the underdog, which Barbaro instantly became.

The anthropomorphism of the 2nd place story also bothered me, especially where the writer acknowledged that horses communicate with a variety of sounds like nickers, whinnying, etc., but not with complex language like humans - then proceeded to give them complex language, like humans.

But the biggest non-racing-fan story related to racing every year is the slaughter of horses whose last owner/trainer followed the business model of "sending them North" without even trying to find a post-race career.

In both the 1st & 2nd place story, the fate of the horse - famous or common - is the story.

I remember the other Clinton campaign years ago when the economy was pretty much like now & their campaign slogan was, "It's the economy, stupid." meaning the biggest thing on the public's mind is the economy.

In the context of both horse-racing & these stories - and the problem of what will bring new fans to the track - I'd amend it to say, "It's the horse, stupid."

Every time I see jockeys [or their agents] and trainers [or the owners] suggest that we as a sport "market" the jockeys/trainers/owners better to make it popular because they're around longer than the horse itself, I know they still don't get it.

The common thread in these 2 TB Times stories: It's the love of the horse.

I didn't love either story, but I can understand why they were picked.

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read

Postby tbrace » Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:41 am

Same thing last time. The second place story "Ice Storm" was way better than the first place story - I keep them all.

The book they have out with some of the best stories in it from the contest is great reading.

It is advertised in each issue of the TBTimes. It is called "Thoughbred Tales". It has a dumb cover but the stories are great.

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Postby reenci » Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:09 pm

2nd story was excellent.
A great man cannot help himself," "He can see things that other men cannot see themselves, and his greatness lies in doing whatever is necessary to make his vision real

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Postby soundfast » Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:29 pm

I liked the 2nd place story except for the ending. I really hate sad endings. I would have liked it better if the meat men and the trainer got stomped on and went to the hospital or morgue or somebody bought him and retired him to a nice farm like Black Beauty. My March 29 issue just arrived today.