Hilarious... Foaling mares secret code of honor

News about mares getting ready to foal, new foals, foal naming, etc.

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Ruffian
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Hilarious... Foaling mares secret code of honor

Postby Ruffian » Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:51 pm

"Foaling Mare's Secret Code"

The mare's secret code of honor is as old as horses themselves and is ultimately the species best kept secret. NO mare shall ever produce a foal before it's time.

It's time being determined by the following factors:

1. No foal shall be born until total chaos has been reached by all involved. Your house must be a wreck, your family hungry and desperate for clean clothes, and your social life non-existent.

2. Midwives must reach the babbling fool status before you foal out. Bloodshot eyes, tangled hair and the inability to form a sentence means you're getting close.

3. For every bell, beeper, camera or whistle they attach to you, foaling must be delayed by at least one day for each item.

4. Vet check, add a day…internal, add three! If you hear the words, "She's nowhere near ready…you will be fine, while I'm away for the weekend," then wait 12 to 16 hours and pop that baby out!

5. Owner's stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care of someone else, ten to fifteen phone calls a day is a sign you're getting close. When you hear the words, "I can't take it anymore!"…wait three days and produce a foal.

6. You must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are necessary! Little teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing your food around in the bucket and then walking away from it are always good for a rise. Be creative and find new things to do to keep the adrenaline pumping in those who wait.

7. The honor of all horses is now in your hands. Use this time to avenge all of your stable mates. Think about your friend who had to wear that silly costume in front of those people. Hang onto that baby for another day. Oh, they made him do tricks too! Three more days seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad haircuts, those awful wormings can also be avenged at this time.

8. If you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when to have this foal, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that has been so generously provided by those who wait. Severe thunderstorm warnings is what your looking for. In the heart of the storm jump into action! The power could go out and you could have the last laugh. You have a good chance of those who wait missing the whole thing while searching for a flashlight that works!

9. Make the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time someone comes into the stable to check on you. Your stable mates will love you as the extra goodies fall their way too!

10. Remember, this code of honor was designed to remind man of how truly special horses are. Do your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful filly to carry on the mare code of honor for the next generation of those who wait!

–Author Unknown


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I don't know if anyone has seen this before but it had me laughing so hard! I only have one this year due in a month, I can't wait!!!

:D

Sunday Rider
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Postby Sunday Rider » Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:17 pm

OMG :lol: :lol: Love it :shock: I've never seen it :lol: I'm still waiting...going on 2 weeks late :shock: All I could do was say yep to all the things done :lol: We do have a Halloween show EVERY year with costunes and tricks included. Thanks, it makes waiting a litter better......can't wait another day

Mood Swings
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Postby Mood Swings » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:22 pm

Hilarious :lol: :lol: So very true! Thank you for posting! I have to make sure I pass this on.
"People come and go but horses leave hoofprints on your heart"

clh
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Postby clh » Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:37 pm

Okay - I'm in OH they are in KY so I don't go through all the stuff alot of you do - it is hard however waiting up here expecting a call, not getting a call, making a call, etc....

The farm manager did tell me that one of the mares kept rubbing against the fence several weeks before she foaled setting off her alarm about 6 times. She finally pulled it out - they thought she foal and wouldn't have to put it back in - nope - had to put it back in and she foaled two days later. I told him she was just testing them to make sure they'd all come running since she was at a new place - she wasn't sure they knew what they were supposed to do :)

I really enjoyed this - thanks for posting it!
"We are the people our parents warned us about" - Jimmy Buffett

"My occupational hazard is that my occupation is just not around" - Jimmy Buffett

TB Dreamin'
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Secret Code

Postby TB Dreamin' » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:43 am

:wink: Thank you, Ruffian!!!

I keep saying, how do they know the very second you go back to the house for something, the one second you step away, to have that baby???!!!

Can they really control it to that very second?????

I know I couldn't, w/my human baby!!!

I printed this to put by my desk, so I can laugh, when I feel like crying!!

Amy

Gerry
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Postby Gerry » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:27 am

OMG too perfect :lol: Especially #8...our Lost Soldier mare foaled her filly by Great Notion last week during a thunderstorm and the electric went out and I was standing there with a flashlight!!!

I had never seen this list before altho it sure sounds as if the mares in my barns have been passing it around for years