I don't know where else to say what I'm feeling but here... It's hard to tell "non-horse people" things like this and expect them to understand. My 27 year old QH gelding passed away yesterday on Thanksgiving. He was on 24/7 turnout (part of his "retirement" that I promised him) and could always come and goes as he pleased. He had 5 acres fenced in just for him and "his pony" (a shetland/miniature cross). I don't know what happened... He was soaking wet in the morning (I don't know if he stood out in the rain at night or was just soaked from sweat) He started looking colicky after breakfast yesterday and by 9:30 he was down. We (four of us) got him up and walking. I stayed with him the entire day and had my brother, dad, grandpa and boyfriend rotate going home for Thanksgiving dinner, so someone was always with me to help when he started to go down. It seemed mild and I didn't want to call the vet out on Thanksgiving, plus we'd gotten him through this several times before and it didn't seem any worse than the others. We tubed him with oil, both ends, and kept him walking but around 5:00 he started panting and got visibly worse to the point where I knew that I had to get the vet out. I called the vet at 5:10 and by 5:15 he was gone. I think he twisted and he died so horribly. I think up to that point he was just impacted because he had gone to the bathroom a little and was passing gas, but he got worse so violently and suddenly that I think he had to have twisted or something. I watched my baby, the one who I fell in love with and got me into horses, lay in a pasture and writhe in pain until he couldn't handle it anymore and give up. He didn't deserve to die like that. He should have died in a stall in his sleep. I hate myself so much right now. I can't even hardly read the screen as I type this. I feel like such a horrible person to have not gotten the vet out there sooner. He didn't deserve to die like that. I'm so sorry to vent here like this.
The part that makes it even harder is that Red, the little pony, just stood out in the field over him the whole night and even pulled the tarp off of him like he thought maybe Regal was just asleep. He kept nudging him to get up and sucking on his ear (something he always used to do when they were just standing around). He is as heartbroken as I am. The pony was a rescue and didn't trust anyone when we got him. He latched on to Regal and the two of them were the best of friends
Here is one of my favorite pictures of him: Regal, as a yearling (1980-2007)

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." ~ W.C. Fields